CHANGE

The one thing that is told best by pictures

Most of the people in my life are not so scared of change, and that, I think- puts me in an arguably safe place.

When you are in a world that is not so scared of change, you are either very open to change or not so scared of making differences in your life.

To all my friend and my family- Thank you for not fearing the unknown, thorough your courage I've grown a bit of my own. Thank you for opening up to me, it was the only way I would know how refreshing change can be.

People meet, they fall in-love, hook-up and then break up only to continue as if they've never met. For me, this year was full of nothing more than Break-ups. Different people, different reasons. It is scary when you have at some stage in your life, looked at a pair of friends (dating) and you know deep down in your heart that they will one day get married to each other. And then, He- Banna, they are not even friends anymore.

Here are some of the people who heve ditched long term relationships and their reasons.

Lavinia and Henry- Just when we all thought, these two are meant to be. There is this on Lavinia's blog.

"The Lavinia and Henry show has been cancelled

It just had to happen didn't it? And its all good.Henry and I are broken up. He says he needs time to think about things, which is fair because a lot of things between us were hurtling too far and too fast. Issues of marriage, kids, our future and trust were all coming up very often and we could not find really much common ground. Where we did it was tenuous.

The 13 year age difference, work stress on his part, my focus on my own job and career, the way he ended things with his ex and a whole lot of other issues have contributed to this. I guess in a way I was in denial, but I wrote him a tear-stained letter on Friday explaining my insecurities about our relationship, how I'd felt hurt by some of the things we had done to each other and I told him it might be better if we ended up with other people....................................."

Followed by this on Henry's blog

"Factum est

It's done... I'm not sure what's been done. But I did it.I broke up with Lavinia last night.I'm not even sure entirely why, because I think I love her. This will take some explanation.

First, I really don't even have anything bad to say about her. Lavinia is intelligent, pretty, and destined for success. The perfect girl, right? After meeting her, one of Shoni's friends told me "If you ever lose her, I will kill you. I will find you and kill you!" Hopefully, he doesn't read my blog.

I spoke to my friend Rich after breaking up with her last night. His first comment was "You're kidding, right? Oh shit. Man, why didn't you call me before you did it!?" He said this like I was an idiot and he could have talked some sense into me if I'd just given him a chance. Though after explaining myself, he seemed to agree that I did the right thing considering how confused I was......................................................."

Keneilwe and Reggie- Everyone saw this one coming. Keneilwe used to spend so much time with Kaix or talking about Kaix. I always knew that she was happier having a conversation for 5 hours with Kaix in his car, than she was visiting Reggie for a weekend. The break-up was not based on Keneilwe's dealing with Kaix, Reggie was too far, too distant, maybe too underving of her, too --------. Don't get me wrong here, they had a banging relationship, which is why it lasted for so many years and their break-up came as a shock. Keneilwe is with Kaix and to be frank with you, I couldn't be happier for her. They are so inlove.

Nicci and Cornel - One of those cases where one just needs to say, "Only GOD knows".

They were together for six years. No problems, no fights according to what I know. All of a sudden, my coloured friends are apart.

To be continued...............................

WOMAN
The 'hard' of Hardcore.

They say her place is in the kitchen, some believe she should be seen and not heard.

For many years the woman has been playing “the fool”, a special role in the movie called LIFE. She is not bad at it. Actually she has been too good at it. The man (leading characters) loves working with her. She is simple, gives in easily, does whatever he says and follows his lead- no matter what.

I look back at how things used to work in my family when I was still very young, my father would disappear for days, get my mother into trouble (don’t ask) and give us nothing but false hope. He promised me the world, literally and never delivered. I know of no other person who can wait as patiently as my father’s children can. My mother would run, with four kids and absolutely nowhere to go, she would be on her way. The point- to get away from trouble maker she had for a husband. She would all by herself work something out and just when everyone got a hold of ‘a piece of mind’, she would invite my father back into our lives.

Because my mother never put her feelings before my father, (I know it sound ambiguous and I mean it in both ways), things turned out the way they did, every time I see a bit of my father in a man- I run. My sisters and I find it hard to believe a man who makes a promise and every time a promise is kept we find it hard to believe. All because we were exposed to a promise breaking, lying and selfish party animal for a father.

About two weeks ago I took a life changing decision, I decided to stop being so bitter towards my jobless, down and out father. I realised what a burden anger and bitterness can be. I used to blame him for the way my life turned out (every aspect) and wanted nothing to do with him. I realise what the saying ‘What goes around comes around’ really means. My father would do anything to do right by his family, too late. His family is doing fine without him.

I know a lot of women who are waiting for their boyfriends/husbands/partners/lovers to change their ways habits and in some situations the number of women they date. I am convinced that patience was designed for women. Women will be patient with a man that assaults them, they will be patient with a man who drinks his brains out while his children are at home with empty stomachs, women have the patience for polygamists, women will wait patiently for a man to commit when commitment features nowhere near his intentions or vocabulary for that matter. Women are too kind with their hearts- they give them to heartbreakers without even thinking about what it takes to mend them.

Men and women are from two different worlds, that does not mean you should settle for less and let a man walk all over you. There are good men out there, they are not perfect but they are worth a real woman’s time.

I will give you a few hints of my own on how to know whether it’s time to run or stay.

Are you comfortable around him?
Can you be your self around him?
STAY

Does he pay attention to you and what is happening in your life?
STAY

Does he put his friend, partying, alcohol or fun before you?
RUN

Does he get vulgar or violent with you?
RUN

Does he have respect for your family and friends?
STAY

Can you have him and your loved ones in the same room without anything breaking?
STAY

Are there other women in his life (besides his family) that make you uncomfortable and he claims he can not do anything to help the situation?
RUN

Has he been in and out of prison a number of times?
RUN (even if he claims he did not do it)

Does he speak to his mother like he is addressing a kid or maybe one of his dumb friends or cheap girlfriends?
RUN

Do people speak badly about him?
INVESTIGATE.

Does he give you compliments and notice changes when you have made some?
STAY

If the right man does not come along, spend your life nurturing the one person you will have to spend forever with- YOU. Do not let one guy make all men look the same. Men only do what you let them get away with, let them get away with making you feel like a queen, it is all up to you.

“No man is worth your tears, the one who is – will never make you cry”
- Anonymous.



There’s more where that came from but I will leave it here. All you need to remember is-

Love yourself.
Put yourself first.
Don’t stay if you are not happy.
Love does not hurt.
You should raise your children in an environment you would want them to portray.
Self confidence is not for the elite- you build it by yourself.
You choose your own love-life.

Brothers- Nothing Personal. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment. IS.

Hip-Hop

The first time I paid attention to it, I didn't even understand it much. The art and depth that this music genre posseses was not visible (nevermind audible) to me. It was more about WHO is spitting the Rhymes and the beat than it was about the rhymes.

2PAC, Biggy Smallz and Busta Rhymes used to get my attention only because they were all over the show. They were on TV half the time, everyone I know bumped their tracks on a daily basis and they swore like there's no tommorow. As soon as Bitch, Ho's, gangster, dick and etc became normal (second nature) words to me I was able to pay attention to the flow. The first hip-hop track that had meaning for me is: Keep on keeping on- MC Lyte feat. Escape (whatever happened to them?!).

A friend of mine who was born a hip-hip fanatic wrote out the lyrics to that track for me, she also taught me a few hip-hop/american slang (words) and introduced me to 'weed', yeah I said 'weed'. Ever since those days hip-hop has been more or less part of my life.

I became hip-hop and hip-hop became me when I discovered South African hip-hop through Skwatta Kamp. I thought: "these boys are ill" from the very first time I heard them (rau rau), I fell inlove with how realistic they are and I could relate to almost everything they were rapping about- Poverty, the hood, teenage pregnancy, sex, drugs and alchohol South African style.

Hip Hop Pantsula is one of my favourites, I like the fact that he is got no time for disses or beef and yet he still manages to get us hooked to his flow. Last festive season I was a joke to my older sister Nina because I was so obsessed with 'Tswaka' (the word means MIX) one of HHP's singles on his latest albumn 'Omang Reloaded'. I would literally turn into a groupie everytime I heard that track, I would smile until all my facial muscles started aching.

Hip-Hop became an obsessiong for me when PROkid graced the Local Hip-Hop scene, this 24 year old, SOWETO hip-hop veteran as he calls himself changed South African Hip-Hop for the Best if not greatest. He is the definition of Ill, I can not get over his skillz and I suspect a lot of hip-hop heads are suffering from the same fever I've had since the release of 'Heads and tales'.

PRO is on point, he tells it like it is and unlike Skwatta Kamp's Flabba he is not too vulgar. He raps about reality- PERIOD. No beating about the bush, no sugar coating and interestingly- no fairy tales.

He is the realest MC and believe me when I say, you don't want to make a fool of yourself by attempting to take on this CAT on the battle floor.

He's put every South African MC in their place including his rival M'rapper ProVerb. The beef between the two came about when one of them (I don't know which one) decided he is not down with sharing 'PRO'. It turned into an unnecesarry constant battle, leaving Hip-Hop headz getting a dose of unbelievable punchlines.

The score was settled at the Rand Easter Show. An unexpected battle between the two materialised. I was not there (unfortunately) but those who witnessed it put it this way: 'ProVerb' lost his dignity, punchlines and shine that day to PROkid.

I work for a TV current affairs show called Weekend Live, I put together inserts. It is an Arts and Culture show and my dream come true. A new week means a new story and sometimes maybe two. I learn something new everyday and get to meet very interesting people. I will never forget the day I was assigned to do a story on South African Hip-Hop. It is by far the story I enjoyed doing more than all the others. I got to interview Lee Kasumba- (Yfm- Harambe), she holds very interesting views about HipHop and she is one of the most intelligent/articulate women I've met in my time. I also got to meet PROkid (the lyrical genious) and I have never trembled more. He is streetwise, charming and real. It was such a wonderful expirence to get to share my thoughts with someone so thrilling. I have respect for him and hope he'll hold it down until 2PAC makes it back from ' you know where' because for me- that's as real as it gets.

"Eintlek Fuck backstabbing, mina ngizo ku gwaza nine, nine"

- PROkid (Ungapheli Umoya)

My TOP 10 South African Hip-Hop tracks (at the moment)

1. PROkid- Wozobona
2. HHP- Harambe
3. Hidden force- Tsokotsa
4. Skwatta Kamp- The Clap song
5. Morafe- The whole thang
6. H2O- It's Wonderful
7. PROkid- SOWETO
8. SK- Uhamba no bani?
9. Zulu Mobb- Comfort me
10. Twistyle- Lovey Dovey

right now me is listeng to MORAFE.

Tumi becomes a BLOGGER

When I first heard about blogs, bloggers and blogging I was in P. Diddy's class. P. Diddy (real name Pedro Diederichs) is our Basic Editing lecturer, the H.O.D of TUT's journalism department. The topic was about news on the net and I'm not going to get into all that because the point I'm trying to make is: When I first heard the word(s) I found it very funny and I told my best friend/classmate and 'sister' Lavinia this. What was making me laugh even more was what was going through my mind, I was thinking about what the word was about to become (Lavinia and I are too good at twisting words).

From that day on, everytime we found something funny, confusing of just plain tripping in P. Diddy's class we would call it a 'blogger'- little did I know that a year later I would become exactly that, A Blogger. Funny hey?!

Lavinia has been doing this for over a year and I've always checked out her blogs. Don't tell her but, I've always thought : "This girl has way too much time, I'd have to get paid to dedicate my time to something this demanding". Guess what?! All it took for me to get started was one of her entries, it was about our friendship and how much she and I know about each other. That was three days ago, today I'm spending time trying to put this blog together and am not even getting paid for it- I guees- things do change.

I'm hoping my life is/ will be interesting enough for you to visit my blog as often as possible.
I have a lot of crazy people in my life, I'll tell you about some of the things they get up to and more importantly I'll let you know everything there is to know about moi.

My name is Itumeleng Sedumedi, someone calls me Moontz, someone else calls me Gamine and a lot of people call me Matumza- You can call me anything as long as it ain't a four letter word or anything that implies that I'm stupid.

Leave a WELCOME entry and help a sister believe she is worth your time and words.

Later.

MatumzaOnline

WUZP, Welcome to the realest blogspot.

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