Growing up
I still find it scary

Not too long ago I realised that my bank card is old, it's in a state- swiping has become a 'bitch', if you know what I mean. Now I have to go to a bank, stand in a cue, fill in a form and only then will I get fresh plastic.

About four years ago I was in my mother's care, I was her responsibility. The closest I ever was to indipendence was by doing everything (from university applications to sorting out my bank account) myself.
Even so, I still kept a certified ID copy (hers and mine) in my bag 24/7. Wherever I went and whatever I did, I knew the one document that will get me anything I want was my mothers ID/ID copy.
I had no payslip, no income, no financial history and absolutely not the maturity or experience that comes with being an adult.

I've always said to my friends:"I don't wanna grow up y'all". That was always said in fear of big responsibilities. The thought of having a mortgage, life policies, a house, a car that will need to be maintained, kids, a husband and in-laws to me seems like a life sentence. I mean there just comes a point in life where there is absolutely no turning back, once you reach a certain level you have to stay there or move up (whether mommy has your back or not).

The fun things that come with indipendence are so easy to accept. I go out all night, sleep over at friends' places, consume alchohol and introduce all my friends, male and female to my family without even thinking like I used to back in the day. Maybe it's because I waited for the right time to do all of these things and maybe it's great to be finally able to call my own shots and make my own decisions.

• Getting into a steady relationship
• Seing most of my friends become parents
• Not having to move around with Connie Sedumedi's certified ID copy
• Finally having it within me to stop felling resentment towards my father
• Eating vegetables without going 'nyaaaa'
• Knowing how to step up to someone and introduce myself
• Making a few life changing decisions
• Contraceptives
• Being able to cut frenemies out of my life
• Standing up for myself (personal, professional or gangster)
• Having to submit my CV to a possible employer
• Having someone very cute and innocent ask you if you bought them sweets
• Thinking about marriage and kids
• Having a career
  
  
  Those are just some of the things that just keep on reminding me of how young I'm not getting.I don't know about you but It scares me that I can't play with absolutely no worry in the world, sit back and let my mother do all the thinking for me. I can't chill with a guy and not think : He's got a motive.

Life gets harder and harder with age. I choose to make the best of it but insist on acknowledging how difficult it can be.

Have a blast before you are a parent, enjoy all those little things before you have someone looking up to you and remember that someday, it might not be as easy as it is now or once was.
Let me know how growing up has affected you.

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Matumza.

Slut or Mover

Does knowing how to move on the dance floor work against me?!!

About a month ago Henry and I went to a party, PRO KID's video shoot and the launch of the new spirit cooler from Smirnoff (Storm) to be exact, Henry was getting ready to go to Hungary that night, he hadn't planned on staying. The atmosphere changed all of that in a second, 'Brother-Man' got jiggy with me.

It was a great night, good music (DJ WAXXY off the hook), good company (Henry for sure) and good booze (the hangover was the pitts). It was everyone else around us who was so not doing it for Xolani and I. People trying to be seen by others, celebrity wannabes and arrogant people who happen to be in the business of entertaining (they always seem to forget who they entertain though).

After two hours of serious ass shaking, Henry and I suddenly took notice of how we were the only ones sweating, everyone else was doing the 'I'm too cool to sweat' thing or fixing their eyes on us.

I decided- F*#@ Them, I'm gonna make every single one of them dance. Of course I know my story- I had guys showing off their skills.

Then something got a serious hold of my mind, all these guys were actually thinking that they'd scored as they smiled and danced with me. Licking and biting their lips, coming closer and whispering sour nothings into my christian ear.

Someone started brushing their ashy hands against my exclusive booty while in the corner stood a guy I've seen in a coupla adverts winking the night away, now that got me worried.

This kind of behavior from guys never bothers me. I know myself well enough, I know my alchohol limit and I'm way too intelligent to be faceless ass for these arrogant guys. It is only when they start thinking a sexual relationship is signed and sealed only because I danced with them that I get bothered.

M'rapper kept on saying: Wena, if I didn't have a girlfriend I'd be taking you home with me. Here am I looking at this dude thinking: What a compliment bra, at my age- I look like a young thing that can be taken home by you. My response to him?! If I didn't have a man, I would so go home with you, you fuck(silent).

It happens to me all the time, everywhere. I sit down and shut up, no one is bold enough to make some conversation with a sister, I stand up and dance- everyone sees nothing but booty. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing or who I'm with.

To all the brothers who love to have a good time on the dance floor(no bullshit)- Much respect. To all those who think a woman who is free to express herself and have fun while displaying her dance moves is a gashu- Get lost. You belong in the next generation.

I am a woman, a decent one. Self respect tops all my lists. I'm a free spirit, I love to move my ass on the dance floor and I know how to do it- If that to you means 'sex with no strings attached' you are clearly not on my level.

Dancing is just that, dancing- no matter what the motives of the dancer are. Look, appreciate, join-in and loose your mind if you have to, just don't make an ernegetic and fun-loving sister feel cheap for dancing. Sisters, please don't give the wrong impressions to the brothers on these dance floors, if you have to seduce anyone, be bold enough and do just that. Do not twist the rules of honest dancing. I know it can look or feel sexy but it was meant for pure fun.

No beef, just serious concern y'all.

me